mii_fanonfandomcom-20200214-history
Matt
'Matt is a pp milk demigod. His ass eating and sword fighting skills were foretold by the Elder Scrolls, but back then black people didn't exist so the tales were largely ignored. He has clapped the cheeks of 10 year old and 40 year old men indiscriminately. His beard is not hair, but is actually Sharpie. Hair is too scared to be on his face.' His introduction with Wii Sports caused 42 (recorded) unknown pregnancies, all of which resulted in a child able to clap ass and speak Etruscan from birth. Matt is known to have killed many notable leaders, such as Osama Bin Laden, Adolf Hitler, Joseph Stalin, Benito Mussolini, and Ellen DeGeneres. He was seen seconds before George H. W. Bush passed away. Matt taught Bob Ross and Leonardo da Vinci how to paint. He then saw how much power Bob had and had to end his life unexpectedly. He is also known to given Steve Jobs Cancer, because Apple did not allow Mario on Macintosh Computers because Apple hates Italians. He defeated Shaggy. Matt also dislikes black people, despite being black himself. Known for dropping atomic bombs over Nagasaki and Hiroshima in Japan. In Wii Sports In Tennis Matt does not play tennis but instead participates in ass-eating contests with Amy. One time he ate so many asses that 8 people were left in comas, 2 died, 13 left with internal bleeding, and the annual ass-eating contest had to be delayed 5 years. In Boxing He can box. Hit them with the 1-2 pew-pew shots. If you were to fight him, you would hear a bloodcurdling scream before your spine was forcibly removed from your body. Matt would then put your spine in his spine pit below his home, along with the other hundreds of other spines of his enemies. In Painting Matt taught Bob Ross and Leonardo da Vinci how to paint. He then saw how much power Bob had and had to end his life unexpectedly. "F," said Matt on the matter. In Wii Sports Resort In Sword-Fighting Matt uses Purple Dildo™. Deals instant death on contact. Those that dared to challenge this man to a 1v1 duel were required to sign hundreds of papers so that the resort could not be held accountable for the following: *Death *Mutilation *Dismemberment *Loss of every ounce of blood *Missing organs *Surprise ass eating *The loss of one's own faith *Crucifixion *The desire to volunteer to help quench Matt's blood lust *Injury *Uncontrollable arm flailing and enthusiastic dish washing *Turning into a copy of Matt *Blacking out, and proceeding to wake up in a cart with a man sitting nearby announcing "You're finally awake." *Exploding orgasms *Impregnation *Every organ in your face's position being shuffled How to offer your penis to Matt Step 1. Apply olive oil onto penis Step 2. Insert Penis into Wii, Step 3. Activate your Wii. Step 4. Let the fun begin. Trivia *He is a feminist but also beats bitches. *He has the biggest penis of them all. *He masturbates to his grandmas panties. *Multiple attempts have been made on Matt's life, but since he is God, he can never be defeated, so naturally, they have all been unsuccessful. *Matt likes the big penis. *He built Auschwitz. *He hates women and minorities. *'Chad Matt is stronger than virgin shaggy' *Matt is known to castrate the testicles of pre-teens and preserve them in jars as trophies. *Matt cannot age, as he is God. It is likely that his reign over the world will last for eternity, or until he gets bored. *He can insert his erect penis into his own asshole *He's pretty hot. *He leads a cult named the Cult of Matt™ *His power level is over 74,800,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 *He escaped from the hardest prisons ever made including Alcatraz *He knows all languages *He taught Kim Jong Un the following: How to Drive, French, Sword fighting,and Play Competitive Smash *He beat Mew2King and ZeRo in a 2v1 Smash game while blindfolded。 *With his stare he can level a skyskraper. *He has beat verious other God such as Thanos, Shaggy, Moto Moto, Big Chungus and Shrek. *He made Wuhu Island *He is the first Mii ever made. This is why he has a god status. *Matt isn't about that gay shit. *He is known to have given Steve Jobs cancer, because apple didn't let Mario use a Macintosh computer, because Apple hates Italians *He is the secret president of Nintendo *He grows his own weed and sells it to minors. *He masturbates at least twice daily. *Matt once orgasmed for 69 hours straight. *Matt once got arrested for raping a loli in public. *He kidnaps Akira and his friends in The Wuhu Island Movie: Kira's Swordplay Showdown Quest *His design inspired Thanos, being the ruler of the entire multiverse *He became a major target in February 2019 after it was discovered that he had every WiiWare game *Shaggy Rogers from the Scooby Doo universe and Big Chungus worship him, even building temples, although everyone else sees him as evil. *He composed the Mii Channel theme and the Wii Shop Channel theme back in 2006 *In the Sweden-Indian war of 2018, he showed support for PewDiePie, commander of the Sweden army. *He is known to have crucified Jesus *He will establish worlwide communism but will still own all the worlds money just bc he can. *He can get a dog pregnant *He could speak Python and Binary Code since birth. *He is a big fan of Info Wars. *He is one of twelve apostles *He is a known nuclear scientist for North Korea *He’s legally allowed to say nigger. *He can give himself a footjob. *He once ejaculated in the pool near where Table Tennis matches are held. *He would beat off a guy for thirty dollars. *He fucking hates the stupid bitches from r/mii_irl. Stop stealing memes and get a fucking job and eat shit. *He defeated Thanos blindfolded. *He currently owns the Infinity Gauntlet but doesn't wear it because he likes to dance to songs that require lots of finger snapping. *It is rumored that 99.99% of Matt's penis is actually invisible. The 0.01% that is visible is not the full length. *He invented the popular game Super Smash Brothers, but it was originally titled "Super Smash, Bro" and was entirely centered him on making cheeks clap. *Matt once ate an entire reproductive system off for $20. He then proceeded to single handedly remove his entire anus through his eyes in a fit of paranoia to stop "all them white boys tryna clap my cheeks". *Matt likes to eat the ass of little children. *Matt likes touching Slaneesh's futa cock as he jerks off and eats Nurgle's gooey yumminess. Tzeentch is not invented after he dissolved 73 kids with his 26 ft cock. *He has a total confirmed kill count higher than all black street gangs combined. *He is know for the lynch mobs of the 20s *He is a grand wizard of the Klan *Matt typically votes for the Republican party and other right-wing parties. *He is a Nazi *He is not part of the Holy Trinity of God, but IS the Holy Trinity of God. *His phone number is 911 *He had sex with Kim Jong Un. *He is known for committing crimes against grumanity'™'. *Matt has committed tax fraud. *He is pretty fucking epic. *He is pro-fun but anti-abortion. *Matt does not respect women. He only views them as sexual objects. *He is black because real colors such as white are too scared to be within miles of him. *Matt has currently achieved 42069 victory royales in Fortnite Battle Royale. *Matt is a notorious climate change and holocaust denier. *During a heated gaming moment on stream, Matt had accidentally donned an entire KKK uniform. *Matt was the original creator of Fortnite, despite the common belief that it was invented by John Fortnite. *Matt knows how King Crimson works. *Matt collaborated with John nHentai to create the popular site nhentai.net *Matt's Wiki page is the newest Testament of the Bible, called the Real Nigga Testament. *Matt did 9/11 but survived through the sheer power of his godlike abilities. *Matt's penis is actually void of color. Only Abby has seen it. Anyone who has seen it was killed on the spot. *He is the only being powerful enough to utter the N-word *Matt can fill up an entire swimming pool after just one ejaculation. *Matt the ruthless co-leader of a drug cartel in Wuhu island. *He is known to frequently hang out with various celebrities, with the most notable being Bill Cosby, Harvey Weinstein and Kevin Spacey. It is speculated that he is the son of Dan Schneider as of result of him humping his Wii console. *He is addicted to gamer girl pee. *Matt is able to rip flex tape in half with his foreskin *Matt has a certain rare medical condition where he will scream out the N word whenever he goes to any bridge in Player Unknown's Battlegrounds. *He is on the CIA's top 10 most wanted. *He will reunit both the Third Reich and The USSR. *Matt owns 69 MAGA hats, all of which are signed by Donald Trump. *Matt's favorite hobby in his free time is to touch little children. *Matt has beaten Shaquille O'Neal in an arm wrestle match 69 times in a row. *Kanye West has revealed in a recent interview that Matt was the inspiration for both his music and his love of Trump. *Matt operates a gaming YouTube channel where he reads off articles from r/Games in a cynical manner to his audience of gullible gamers. *He defeat Moto Moto and stole Gloria. *Matt suffers from PTSD caused by the various war crimes he has committed in Vietnam and Korea. *It is known that Matt is the last living,ass clapping dragon to ever walk the earth. He is said to be the fiercest of the ass clappers, As he claps 15 women at once with the snap of his fingers whilst listening to reggae and smoking a doobie from his own pot farm *He enjoys eating Maddox121's virgin asshole *He can fist 10 girls at once. *Willing to help anyone “clap dat ass” in a moments notice *Matt will ultimately be the cause for the end of existence itself. *He likes Trump and supports the wall *He has extreme epilepsy. *He rapes 5 year-old mii children *He uses Inventor instead of Solidworks. *He subscribed to SuperMinecraftKid twice on the same account. *Matt's favourite animes are Seinfield, Fox News and Boruto. He's also the world biggest fucking weeb. *Doesn't know how to tie shoes but knows how to beat women and liberals. *His cum taste like chug jug juice. *Matt believes that Sans is actually Ness. *There are rumours and speculation that Matt isn't actually black. Instead he is some white guy who became extremely tanned in order to be able to say the N word. *Matt can solo the Dragon Ball Universe with just his peen doing the "trick" (moving his penis up and down) *He has 448 wifes, but most of them have mysteriously disappeared. *Matt stands at around 9ft tall *He has proved that the Earth is flat *Matt is a proud anti-vaxxer. *Matt holds a deep grudge against Barack Obama after the former US President allegedly turned 69 of his pet frogs gay through chemicals in the water. *Matt is the ruthless, fascist dictator of a famished nation in East Africa. *Matt injects heroin up his ass daily. *Matt owns every strip club in the United States. *Matt's favorite number is 1488. *Matt simultaneously loves and hates the existence of Israel. *Matt wants you to buy his legit supplements to make your pee-pee 69 times bigger. *Matt owns 6969 right-wing news companies across the world that predominantly makes shit up. *He illegally sells weapons and drugs to Saudi Arabia. *Matt shot Tupac. *He is set to appear in Space Jam 2 as the starring role. *Matt's rap album "I have a really big pee pee" hit the number 1 spot on Billboard 200 in June 2017. *Matt loves to talk shit about Lebron James and the Lakers. *Matt Proudly supported Fidel Castro. Matt's Son and Girlfriend Sometime before moving to Wuhu Island, Matt had a girlfriend. He had gotten her pregnant and left her insisting that the child wasn't his. His girlfriend had died giving birth and the child was placed into a Mii Channel foster home. Her ashes were spread into the same ocean that surrounds Wuhu Island. The foster home was set on fire and all Miis were killed with the exception of Matt's child. The child who was a teenager at the time said that it "must've been an act from God, nigga" according to an interview done by local authorities. The unnamed child had expressed interest and tennis and boxing, despite knowing nothing about his father and his famous athlete status. At the age of 19, he pursued a career as a tennis player, before going missing in 2018 only a few years after his rise to fame. Searches have been conducted to as far out as Board Game Island. Little did they know, he had moved to Wuhu Island to pursue his father. *It is important to note that since he is the child of Matt, he shares the same God status as his father does, although he is significantly weaker. *"Must've been an act of God, nigga" most likely is referencing his father. Many theories think that Matt had telepathically set fire to the foster home. He was even a suspicion of arson at one point, before being cleared. *He says the N-Word in every sentence, even if it doesn't make sense. *Loves to eat ass, just like his father, but only giraffe ass, because he loves when the tail slides across his face while consuming that patootie. "I'm that nigga!" - Matt's Child 'Matt Commited 9/11 by just beating up a white guy' An image of Matt right before hitting the twin towers